America's and Prussia's Adventures in Candyland
by Hazelstiltskin
Summary: By the way. Those are our, the writers, aliases. These are short stories that we made in school and are guaranteed to touch your soul... in more ways then one. HONHONOHONHON. I kid. But I AIN'T NO GOAT FOO. If a single soul complains about the beauty of our masterpieces we will hunt you down. ;3 ENJOY, DUDES. LIKE IT LOSERS, I'M AWESOME!
1. Lolwhut Iowa

One day Prussia was walk! To place! And he say "today I feel like doing… _A QUEST!"_

So he go to America.

"Dude I liked foodued!" Say

Prussia nod "Yes" he nods. "Now quest!"

Okay!" Italy gasped.

And quest begin?!  
Germany was walking to place and screamed "HEY PRUSSIA!" Very scream activate.

Then he jump over… A _LOG!_

And Prussia saw dagron! He shot his sword and Hemroid's body slamed down dragon and I was startles much but Prussia throw bomb and it explode and blod was _THERE!_

:Woah we got the mastard emrald!" Said Keroro and Pruss nod. "Lets go!"

And they walk to Cuba and party. PARTY!

"Woho party" Smile him as he spoke he sad at the party.

But then France was Olympic?!

But Nuclear Fusion was so _so _angry that it radiated its radiation and killed him!

Russia and Prussia were high five and happy and Gilburds was eat?!

NOOOO" Sad

And them the moon was sad so Earth went into the sun.

They all

And that how aids was cured.


	2. Seminole

Rain was fall from very high above in the clouds above. Germany was sit all alone with Italy. He stroked beards. "Italy, we must take America over and acquire tiny breads!"

"YEAH THAT DO!" Italy says like a very Italian man. Except he was!

And when sun go down he was wearwolf! But don't you can't tell German!y

Because Germany knew he was frown very deep and knuckles on his forehead. It was shiny. WWITH SWEAT!

So he took his fork—IT WAS ALSO A SNAKE! And silve steaks could slay vampiers!

Germany was brought ita into hug and while he hug Izy he pull up knife. But it was a fork and a KNIF! AND A STEAK!

With much sad Germans poked Ital with fork!

Blod was went splatter! All over! Him! And the floor! And blod!

And Italy was cry so hard that he looked like Miku! "Germany what about our childs?!"

Sorry Germany sad and then poke Italy… ALL. THE. WAY.

But Germany was breath blood and infected and a werewolf now! And their child Russia was a wearwolf and his pipe was! TO!

But Italy didn't live and died then just.

"WHY" he peeped and die.

HE DIE.

NOOOOO Say Germany. And all went quite.


	3. RUSSIA AND PRUSSIA DERPING

Dramatic Reading: /watch?v=TNouND9BucI

10:00 pm, Russia comes out of a Turkish strip club holding '5 meters' and yea..

"Good sir, might I fancy getting my dick back?" Approached Prussia with approach entrance.

Prussia come out of the jelly fish wall made of jellyfish shit (skittles that look like noses) and drunkingly sings "RURURURU RUSSIA IS GAAAAAAAAAAAAY~"

Russia eated the orange chicken. "WHAT MON AMI?"

"I WAN TO TAIL U RAIGHT NAOW, IM NAT A;SLDFKFJFKJDSLAFKESLF" Prussia says while making orders with his 'florida'…

Russia rolls his precious possession in his hands. "Let me love you."

Prussia falls on the floor and is screaming to the dirt, "IGGY WIGGY! ITS UR MAMA!"

France comes in from place that is there ish. "Did someone call me? OhohohohohoBALLShoho~"

Spain's ass comes out of Prussia's ear " AII AII AIAIIIII I AM JOSE JALEPENOOOOOO~"

"FUCK THE VIATNAMESE," Russia flew away. He was very mad and cry. HE CRY MUCH! And his scarf was flap and wind and cry to. "THEY SO RACICST TO ME AND MY METER" he look at his meter and kissed it. All French. Like. And kissy.

Hey at least he has a modar with a black asian… 'florida' America says in the butthole of spain's ass while spain's ass is within Prussia, who is spazzing on da floor jazzing in his pants.

Russia suddenly go to Prussia. "ARE YOU OKAY HUSBAND? IF YOU DIE, WHO WILL PAY FOR OUR CHILDREN'S ABORTION?" He rubbed his belly. (NOT LIKE THAT WHY ARE YOU SO PERVERTED).

Prussia finishes jazzing(jizzing) in his pants (and it was A LOT, cause man, he ate a smexi looking grape and with those 5 meters…. Oh my…. All heaven hell breaks loose) "c-came someone hand me a tissue?" Prussia then grabs Russia's scarf and wipes his 5 meters… yea that's right.

Russia hands him a sexophone. "Clean up on isle three, da?" Prussia wants to decline but Russia makes a scary face! "Clean up… On isle three… _da?" _Prussia crawls away as Russia starts giggling and shits out a rainbow. SHIT. SHHHIIIITTT.

Spain's ass then transforms into Spain himself… "ai mi cabasa!" He pops out of Prussia's ear and pulls America out of his ass, "IT'S A BOY! ROMANOOOOOOOOO!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" "Thanks man" America says and hands him a Siberian dollar " Your'll be needing this ;D" and flies to the sun with his foot throwing up Poland's ponies.

Japan was nodding and drawing and singing and hiccupping and drinking while he ate and decided he wanted to get married and had a child and was living and then his child got college degrees and his wife died and his child had a child and his child created Disney and he got aids and died. Russia stroked his eyebrows. "So, what am I supposed to do with you, da? I could turn you into a vending machine," He say while speaking.

"POKÉMON! Nigga, bring me the soup." That random kid said, then got kidnapped my France and 'did his laundry' …. DON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST WROTE. THE GOVERNMENT TOLD ME TO WRITE THAT… .. . .. . .. . .. . . AND THAT WAS MORSE CODE FOR… AAAAAH WAIT I CANT SAY IT. HURR. Prussia then starts dry humping Romano " WHAT THE FUCK?!" Then Spain comes to the rescue with super tomato outfit on and fly to the sky while butt raping romano "DO YOU FEEEL THAT MI AMORE/!?11111111" Spain says HUSKYLY~ "._." Prussia says..

And America was a female. "So guys I—FUCK IT GIVE BIRTH TIM" And he started popping out babiesd! NOOOOO! WHY WERE BABIES POPPING OUT OF AMERICA?! I WANTED TO BE THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILDREN WHHHHHYYYY—

The mysterious narrator then dies in the arms of Britain's evil eyebrows that can take down Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee and Justin Bieber combined with a Rebecca Black poster covering their vital regions…. Just in case ;D

Suddenly yaoi jumps out of a bush—and by bush I mean George Bush-and walks by, waving politely to the Gentlemen. Then Slenderman comes by and tackles yaoi, punching him in places and making him die. Pedobear shrieked and clutched the dieing yaoi and sobbed. Russia's chin dripped off and produced into a Prussia clone. The Prussia clone began attacking Prussia! BATTLE TIME?!

Germany then comes with Switzerland turned into a shotgun and starts shooting at the Prussian clone "SAY HALLO TO MEIN LITTLE FRIENDS! *shotshotshotshotshotshotshot hsohtiglefjsko*" Then dark version of Russia starts having delishious smex with uke Prussia dancing to the F song with Prussia and HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE… WHO HAS BEEN ALIVE SINCE THE DAWN OF SPARTAN PEEOPPLESSESIESZ.

"NOOOOO" Prussia clone melted. England walked by, frowning. His eyes hardened, and all grew silent. A light rain began, the scent of wet asphalt rank in the air. England's fists clenched, his knuckles turning white. "WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CLOTHES?"

"GREAT! JUST GREAT! YOU RUINED THE FUCKING MOOD YOU EYEBROW MONSTER!" Romano says while Spain is giving him a Bj…. Bj pizza that is ;D LOOK IT UP. I SWEAR IT'S REAL.

He started sobbing. "WHY ARE YOU SO RACIST THAT'S IT I'LL CUT OFF MY EYEBROWS!" He pulled a razor out of his ass and cut them off. Suddenly, the earth shook. "Oh, I forgot to mention my eyebrows were the lock between time and space. Without them…" Suddenly, the ground split open and nyan cat shot out. A tremble started as a stegosaurus climbed out, a me gusta face taking flight. Miku Hatsune strolled forward, Rick Astley and Rebecca Black close to follow. Trololo man started flying, covering the land in his beautiful music. "The internet will come to life and kill us all!"

Trololo turns into the masked pickle and flyeiseiroejwiojfe away "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"… Okay! So, lets order McDonalds, da?" Russia said and walked away.

So Russia and Prussia frolic to McDonald and happily produce fetuses while eating the whooper.

DA END MATHAFACKA


	4. Dramatically Stupid

One day America was strolling down a road made of bricks in a petite yellow dress. He rubbed at his temples. "Oh, man, bro, what was I doing last night?"

Prussia's head then pops out of America's dress and screams, "DAMN THOSE ARE HUGE!"

America yelped before sticking out a finger. "Yeah, much huger than your stupid five meters! Now, tell me, where were you in my dress…? Did you like what you saw~?" He flexed his muscles.

"…" Prussia takes out a camera and starts taking blinding pictures and quickly posts it on the internet. "KESESESES, WHOS *bleep* IS SMALL NOW!?" chuckled Prussia, as he stroked gilbird who tries to produce a baby.

"Well, you aren't the _only _one with blackmail! No, seriously, I think these may be death threats…" America pulled a few dark envelopes from his pockets, stained in red liquid that may or may not have been blood.

"What the shiznickles is that shiz? BRO I ALREADY SENDED OUT YOUR BEAUUTIIIFUULLLL STICK," prussia said and started being concerned for gilbird.

"… I dunno!" America laughed, tossing the letters which then evolved into an angry pizzeria and stomped away. "So, like, when are you going to cook that thing? No, no, no, fry it! Fry that beyotch already!" America pranced around Prussia, laughter streaming from his mouth.

Prussia, as soon as gilbird stopped giving birth to the new French territory, he grabbed America and threw him to the ground and took off his pineapple. "HA! LETS SEE YOUR FACE LAUGH AT THE AWESOME PRUSSIA NOW!" Prussia said and started pelvic thrusting and tried raping the air.

America grunted then flailed forward, morphing into Slenderman. "KLfsfsajhfskjfhlkjfshfsjkaf!" He mumbled, mouth-less (respectively). He slapped at Prussia. "Klkjlkjnlkn! Lkjlkjfsalkfsalf!"

Prussia then turned into Russia's scarf and started trying to make sense in the world and made machinery for the Prussian army suddenly behind them. "PRUSSIA FOR THE WIN! CHAARRRGGGEEEEEEEE!" then the Prussian army started charging to slender man.

Slenderman puked up some notes then flew away. "COME AT ME BRO-HAS!"

Then the world stopped, "WTF," said frozen Prussia. "DAMNIT YOU WANKER! NOW YOU STOP SHAVING MY EYEBROWS! YOU STOPPED FREAKING TIME!" screamed IGGY WIGGY.


	5. OOOOOOOOOOOH RUSSSIA said prussia

One day a Keroro was walk with noises at feet to door when he open. But it was open with a thing and light. When the light was gone, Keroro noticed the time machine that he had built that one time some time was glow? He heard a voice as a thing step forwards.

"HUNNY!1 THOSE DAMN RATS STOLE THE CAR KEYSIESSZ AGAIN!" Said Izaya the witch hunter who likes to eat toes that come from France's sac. "JDOFDIJFIOEJFRE JAJAJAJAA DONDE ESTAS MI CABALLO!?" Said Dr. Who I mean why. AND THEY WOULD DANCE. LALALALALA, as they jazzed hands to the kitchen to to the hallway where Kerereoreoroeoreroe was mass producing Christmas baby butts in jars full of Adolf Hitler's mustache pubic hairs.

Keroro farted so hard. SO HARD MAN SO HARD. "Woah! Who are you? Did you get invites?" He frowned suddenly, his frown going down on his face as it was a scowl upon scowls. Tameme was so scared! Keroro was mad! And then in walked NonelikeJoshua but he left in about ten. Doitsu was pelvic thrusting against Italy. But Keroro threw the Thesaurus in his hand anyways, okay?

Damn… I mean "Damn… .-." said Shizuo while he ripped a Russian water pipe out of the giggly ground and used it as a toothpick that make gay Jon shrivel into the little gay ball he is. Prussia comes up to Shizuo and hands him a paper. It was to suspicious for his liking. "Do I have to do this mission," said Shizuo with faces of most dramatic Spanish people. "JALEEDLEJA, DUEORPS.." Frolicted Prussia as he tried to find the 5 cm that came out of his 5 meters which where real… oh trust me…. Its real all right… ;D

Ms. Phisher strolled in. "WELCOME TO AMERICA, BISEXUAL JON. GO, JUU, GO!" She then strangled the earth as she tightroped on a parachute that tried to eat the brains out of her uncle's wedding cake wearing nothing but roller skates. And a thong. Oh, Ms. Phisher, you so silly! You make the men go, "DYUUUUUDUH." In fact, her sexiness levels rose so much that Mr. Donute and Mr. Mens stop their passionate kissing. In fact, so much sexiness rose in the room from Prussia and Russia cuddling and Latvia taking his pills that it was time… FOR THE RAINBOW TO EXPLODE OUT OF THEIR EARS? Oh, wait, no, it meant it was time for Iggy Wiggy. Iggy Wiggy flown in, his cape very fowwing behind him. "WHAT IS WRONG? IS IT OHBAYMUH AGAIN?"

With Shizuo still opening the envelope so very dramatically slowly, Iggy Wiggy then took out his grand apple that has never flown a great Russuian pineapples… again… and showed his MMMMMMMMMH to UNITED STATES OF DESPUEERISS (that is america) and made all the other people that happen to be dicks in this fan fiction, as their slaves and made them cook COCKtails.

Iggy Wiggy frowned as he brushed his lips passionately to 'Murrica's. "THIS MISSION, IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, IS BLOODY HELL ADELLE." Then Prussia tried to write on the narrator's computer so America head bobbed to a song and continued typing. "So, gaya, where is this pasta that gave the Russians AIDS? I want it." Then Prfussia's stomach cramped and left the narrator so alone in this world. So so alone. She thinks she is Hungary. Oh, no. Hungry. She thinks she is hungry. Lol. Anywho, Russia approached Shizuokoninininini and stole his Russia pipe and turned into Rainbow Dash.

"I came here to take the cape from the leak, ma'am, DAAAAAAA?" Russia said while growing a countious mustache from his biceps while flying the flyest flys in the flowing lands of his (and his I mean Prussia's) ((AND ITS ALL MINE HONHONHONHONHONOHNOHNRJHGJWOAIGURJEAO~))vital REGIOOOONS which is his scarf. "KESESESESESES, WHY CANT THIS PORN LOAD MORE SLOWER?!" screamed Kululu as he had gay articles of clothing that came from Goruru (IDGAFFFFFF :D) which was in his 70's years. "I CANT FIND MY SWAGGY PANTIES?!" Guroerro said while doing the oppa gandamned style. BADA BING.

"I believe you left them panties of yours in the armpit hair of Eastern High School," Rucka Rucka Ali said while holding hands with Izy Colsta. Oh yeah. I went there, Hungary. FIGHT ME. PICK YOUR TIME AND PLACE. I keed. ;3 ANYWHO THERE WAS KERORO AND DOCOTORE AND THEY KISSED BUT NO. So Prussia's wig was strolling through the streets of New York due to that. It happened like this; Prussia and Russia kissed. But then Russia had a secret to admit; "I'm a girl." PRussia gasped. "Me too! ESTBIANS! CARRY ME AWAY!" But the wig, much like my phone and Hurricane Sandy, was like _NOPE _and jumped away. So now Prussia's wig strolled alone down New York street. YourFavoriteMartian approached, singing the Stereotypes song. "So, you come here often?" He meowed, holding hands with that one blue haired girl from Lucky Star.

"WHY AM I HERE." Said Prussia's wig, as he tried to avoids the thes ofht e other people tha tfocme from the hetrlains orlf of the world tha ti fvant see to teype ant the moment which I td-nt know why I ons amending thi. Prussia then takes his last breast, (CHICHI) and jumps into Russia. NUFF SAID. "DAAAAAUMMM, THIS IS MORE WARMER THAN I THOUGHT! KESESESIOFFVOEIO-" Prussia screamed as he licked Russia's prostataees. "HEHEHEHEHEHEHE. DA." France has token over this paragraph, due to the graphic nature.

As France was busy typing a FanFiction about Prussia and Russia doing some wonderful things with the birds and the bees, and the Owl Cities, a unmarked white Sumo van pulled up with a screch. Before he could realize Prussia was taken from Russia's lovey doven Easy Bake Oven embrace he was taken from Russia. He was in the unmarked white Sumo van, which was also territory of the African beasts of Miami. As he rode with duck taped down the eyebrows of Florida, he was aware of approaching a very very serious gang territory! It had even made the Saints Row dude scared! Prussia's eye hurt with a passion. He was thrown from the back of his van, and was in an African gang territory. He found himself looking up at the very fearsome gang leader. He had earrings, like ten, thousand, and Jamacain Beef Patties. He had a hat and PANTS THAT SWAGGED LOW. Even though that went out of style like ten years ago. His shades were shadier than Slim Shadey. And Slimfast. He had boxers. And a tie. And a lether jacket. And some pants. And Vans. And a whole bunch of bling and his muscles were so large that it made Obaymuh scared so much he went to kite McRomney. "CANADIA?" Prussia.

"… JYES. It is I. CANFUCKINGDA." whispered Canada. "…. uuuh don't you mean CANADA? Stupid…" Mumbled Prussia, as he found gilbird was taking a shit with ash ketchup in his 5 meter custom pants. UUUUUUUH OOOOOOOOOH IVVAAAN THE TERRIBBLEEEEE~~ .-. "PPPERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHH WHAT EVER, EX NATION PRUSSIA! RUSSIA WITH PEE!" Canada screamed and made his toy elephants attack Prussia witht their plushieness. They dragged (after 10 hours of attacking prussia with their mighty might) and brought him to their not awesome cave in moooooooooo british colombia. "NOW 'MURICCA WONT KNOW WHERE YOUR GOLDS OF THE YATZIS ARE HIDDEN, EHHHHHHHHH da." "… ehehehe… keseses.. Ahahahaha… keseses…. JESESEKSAAAHESKESAESEKSAEAESEJAESEKKAKSKSKEKAIESKI AIEKS!" prussia coughed. And used his ninja skilled he got from himself and rolled/floated into a river made of majiuanna that Canadia had for some reason, and went into the sea of water (Pacific ocean)

Now that they were in Britain… or was it Columbia? … Canada pressed Prussia to the wall and was all kissy like France and was like mooch mooch. Smooch. "NOOOO I WILL ALLLLLLWAAYYS LOVE RUSSIA." Prussia was sad. He was crying more than an Irishman after a German busted his barrel of beer. After further inspection Prussia realized he was floating in the Atlantic Ocean. After getting bit bitten by Sumo my fingers hrt. I mean Prussia was trying to not get kissed by Canadia. Canada was kissing Prussia like a true lova, mon ami, like smooch mooch. Mooch. Moooooooch. MUSHA MUSHA MUSHA MUSHA OIICHI HAMBAAGA. MUSHA MUSHA MUSHA MUSHA OOICHI HAMBAAGA.

… ignore that part of the narrator becoming high off of "life" she says…. WHAT A HAM! Aanyways, Russia then senses that the atlantic ocean has his little bunny floating randomly and with a Canada laughing away like inside him his kidneys are having a rave and that the rave has confetti that can turn into selena gomez's madre that made the earth trumpet in the intensines that made up the fastest alien lung that even made Sweden break dowoon in tears. Russia then got his scarf and flew to the colombia of British Canadaaaaaaaahn. "IGG WIGGY IS HERE TO SAVE MY KROLIK! … da." Russia said in the most creepy way possible.. " URLL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE COPPER! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DUN DUM DUAm." Canada exclaimes as he sprints toward Russia, trying to intimidate him and throw him down onto his hairy back full of fleas and backed tomatoes. But then Russia dodged the attack ad let out a thunder bolt from his cheeks and shocked Canada soo hard.. THAT'S WHAT HE/SHE SAID. And threw Canada into South Korea where he will be raped forever.

Just then, I'm Awesome came on. As Canadia's low swagging pants were left on the life raft adrift in the Atlantic Ocean. The sun's last grips of rosy pinks and yellows began to ebb from the sky as gentle plumes of pink and purple clouds gently melted into the surrounding sky. The susurrus of the ocean's water as it lapped at the raft was soothing to the soul, and red and purple eyes gently met. Two faces straightened as they took each other in; then, Russia leaned forward. Prussia leaned forward as well. Just a few inches away from each other, Russia paused, causing his counterpart to freeze as well. "… LESBIANS." Russia whisper. Apollo seven THOUSAND MILLION TROLLIONS fell from the sky as the Macy's Parade was raining from the sky. Prussia farted out a my Little Ponie.

… ANYYWHOO…. Russia leaned into Prussia, pausing 2 inches away from his lips. He was observing his little krolik's reaction as he was hovering over him teasingly. Prussia had his eyes shut closed, his body tensed up against a wall, his face is now in a tomato red color and he has sweat drops trickling over his face. Still embarrassed as he isn't used to being "in love" with Russia, he still has a love/hate relationship towards him. ITS CALLED STOCKHOLM SYNDROME. LOOK IT UP. Russia then leans in and closes the gap between them. THEN EVERYTHING ESCILATE FROM HERE. HA.

AND THEN BABY AMERICA WAS BORN. TO BE CONTINUED?!

But of course, mon ami.

THE END.


End file.
